Married To The God Narayan
It was the winter of 1957, we were visiting my grandmother in
Rajbiraj, Nepal for the winter holidays. She being the true blue Newar
decided the time had come for me to go through the Ilhi ceremony. We
sent a telegram to Sister Superior at St. Helen's Convent, Kurseong
informing her that I would not be able to make it for the opening of the
school year in Spring as I had to get "married" to the god Narayan!
When the auspicious day arrived. I had to wake up in the early hours
before sunrise. I was then bathed in the purifying waters and decked out
in all my wedding finery of red and gold and led to the alter; a wood
fire on a brick and stone structure, under a colorful canopy. The
wedding ritual went on the whole morning, with the priests chanting
hymns and scattering flower petals and I eating symbolic offerings of
fruits and sweets. Since I had, had to fast before the ceremony began, I
thoroughly enjoyed the "offerings".
The groom sat beside me in the form of the bya, the fruit of the wood
apple tree; representing the god Narayan. Towards the end of the
ceremony the priest placed the bya on a plate and my father bound my
hand with its leaves to symbolize the union. The sindoor (vermilion) was
placed on the parting on my hair above my forehead as a sign of
marriage. After the wedding ceremony there was a huge feast that lasted
until dusk.
This curious Newar ceremony which is still practiced by the Newars,
was introduced to counteract the harsh orthodox Hindu marriage laws.
Such laws and other Hindu systems for example, the sati (immolation of
women on their husband's funeral pyres) were introduced in Nepal by the
Licchavi dynasty from India who invaded Kathmandu in approx. AD 300.
By performing the Ilhi ceremony the Newar woman did not have to
subject herself to the harsh Hindu laws at her husband's death as she
was already married to a god!
